Research shows attachment and commitment in a relationship leads to online stalking of an ex

Breakups can be difficult and disheartening. Social media networks makes it even harder to get over a former romantic partner due to the hardship of separating from an ex online as well as off.

A research study conducted by Jesse Fox PhD and Robert S. Tokunaga PhD, says, "Persistent monitoring of a partner’s online activity is known as interpersonal electronic surveillance (IES). SNSs [Social Networking Sites] are commonly used to monitor one’s romantic partner or ex-partner."

Directly communicating with an ex is not necessary anymore. Social networking sites allow a person to engage in online stalking where all a person has to do is search for an ex's online profile, timeline or story on social media.

Curiosity leads to online stalking.

University of Maryland student, Taylor, says she has the curiosity to see what her ex has been doing since the day they separated.



Taylor is not the only student who has been curios, Lauren says she has also been curious but wants the certainty that her ex's haven't moved on without her.




Attachment plays a role in the need to constantly check on an ex relationship partner. 

There are different types of attachments that play a role in monitoring online updates of an ex. An individuals perception of self-worth leads to anxiety or avoidance.

Anxious attachment deals with a decrease in self-worth and generates feelings of uncertainty about relationships. Avoidance attachment deals with a decreased trust in others. This leads to avoidance in pursuing any future close relationships.

According to Fox and Tokunaga, "Attachment also predicts how individuals behave following relationship dissolution. Attachment avoidance is associated with minimizing contact with the partner, whereas attachment anxiety is associated with greater preoccupation with the ex-partner, higher levels of distress, and more frequent attempts to reform the relationship."

Attachment is not the only emotional bond that leads to online surveillance, dependency, investment, breakup initiation and commitment are also factors that influence monitoring of an ex.


Surveyed results showed a higher number of people who have stalked an ex, current partner, or both online.

According to a survey completed by 26 individuals aged, 18 to 44, 40% said they have not stalked and ex or current romantic partner online. 60% have stalked online an ex, current partner or both.

Juliana 22, says she wanted to find out if her ex was lying to her after contacting her again after the breakup. Distrust played a role in Juliana's online monitoring of her ex.



Alternative partners and investment in a relationship is associated with a form of attachment. 

According to the study, alternatives, such as alternative partners, and investment was positively associated with anxious attachment. Avoidant attachment was associated with alternatives but not associated with investment.

"Investment was positively and strongly related to commitment, whereas alternatives were negatively related to commitment. Higher levels of commitment were associated with increases in emotional distress after the breakup, which in turn predicted surveillance both immediately after the breakup and currently," as stated by Fox and Tokunaga.


The partner who initiates the breakup or those who say it was a mutual decision are less distress and less likely to stalk online.

Reasons as to why people engage in online stalking. 

When asked why they engage in online stalking, participants had different responses. Below are some of the answers.